Tuesday, November 18, 2014

This should be...

November 18, 2014 0 Comments
Days, Weeks, Months, and Years passed. Everything begun to be different, everything went wrong. 
Distance destroy the faith, distance destroy the loyalty. Distance destroyed everything.
I thought it will last forever, I thought that this won't stop and we'll fight till the end.
But I was wrong.
Your Loyalty,
Your Love,
The Trust, 
The Hope,
Your Promises,
Our Dreams,
They were all GONE.
They all faded away. 
This time, the only thing I can do is to accept what had happened to you, me, and US. 
You Changed,
I changed,
The relationship went out wrong. All of it was wrong.
I realized that love is not the only thing that really matters, but the loyalty, words, actions, and acceptance matters the most. I love you, I will always will. But this time I have to fix myself, I need to be me again. 
This imperfect love changed me, this non-lasting relationship broke me, your love shattered me, your promises destroyed me, your false hopes killed me. 
We let go, we surrender, we ended up what we started.
You told me that after this you might come back to me whenever you see the old me again, 
You told me that no one can replace me,
You told me that you won't love anyone more than you love me,
I want to believe, I still want to hold on, I still want to hope, 
But I want to be happy, maybe someday we can fix this again. But it will only happen, if you will never let your heart fall more in love with her. It will only happen, if you let your heart choose me and love me again more than you love her. 

But for now, I 'll fix myself on my own. I'll find my happiness alone.
And this should be,
Done. 
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Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Living my own world

March 18, 2014 0 Comments




  All this time I’m just pretending. Pretending to be happy, not hurt. That’s all I can do to show them that I’m not affected. But they do not even notice all those tears I shed, those tears I cried. All they can see is a SMILE, a Smile that’s full of Sadness, Miseries, Pain, Tears kept inside. I wouldn’t let anyone see those secrets kept inside my smile, I didn’t even let them know what I do really feel. I don’t want anybody accompany me through all those pains I’ve felt. I kept all inside me, until now, they’re all kept and still hurting me. I want to remove all of them, I want to throw it all away. But as times passes by, it’s getting strong and hurts me so much. The more I want to throw them the more they stay, the more they gets plenty. I keep on asking myself, WHY AM I LIKE THIS? WHY DO I FELT THOSE PAINS? WHY DID I CRIED A LOT OF TEARS? CAN SOMEONE MAKE ME HAPPY FOR A LONG TIME? CAN SOMEONE LOVE ME, THE WAY I LOVED THEM? those questions keeps on hurting me, keeps in killing me, all I want is a person who can erase those pain & wounds in my heart, but I wouldn’t let anybody to do that for me. WHY? It’s because of DOUBT. It always bothers me. I’m afraid that one day that person who made me feel special would LEFT me & LEAVE me all ALONE.

 That’s my greatest fear ever, to lose the person I love. The reason why I kept those pain & wounds inside my heart, I know that NO ONE can throw them away, I know that NO ONE will stay with me FOREVER. I’m always afraid to LOVE, afraid to be HURT all over again. But I can’t do anything, I lived like this, I grew up in this world, It’s me, a PART of the PRETENDER’S WORLD.
SOURCE: mariamanibel.tumblr.com
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