Saturday, March 31, 2018

I haven't done yet...

March 31, 2018 0 Comments



I'm still wondering, 

Why Am I still here?

Why Am I still staying?

I'm still thinking,

How to do it?

How would I do it?

I'm still crying,

I did a lot of mistakes,

I hurt a lot of people,

I'm still fighting,

But why?

Do I really have to fight?

I'm still here,

I shouldn't be here.

I'm just making their lives miserable.

I haven't done it yet,

Would I do it?

Maybe, soon. 


Sooner.. 
Continue reading...
at No comments: quickedit

Friday, August 14, 2015

Afraid

August 14, 2015 0 Comments




Where can I find a safe place for me?
A place where you can be yourself,
A place where you can show what you really feel,
A place where you are accepted and loved.

Where can I find a home for me?
A home where you don't have to pretend,
A home where you can feel that you're secured,
A home where you are safe.

Where can I find those people who really are concerned? 
People that can save you from pain,
People that can treat you like you do belong,
People who don't talk behind your back.

Where can I find those?
When can I find them?
Who can bring me to them? 
Are those asked, still exist? 
Continue reading...
at No comments: quickedit

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Judgements

August 12, 2015 0 Comments







If they only knew,
Everything
About my past,
My troubles,
My problems,
And everything I've been through.
They might have accepted,
And tried to understand me

It's not easy to be me,
It's not easy to live my life.
It's not easy to survive in my world.

I try to show who I really am,
But honestly,
It's not easy.
It's not safe.

There would be judgments,
Words that break you,
Emotionally and Physically

Judging you without knowing
Everything about you,
About your past,
And what you're going through.

And now,
should I pretend?
Or
Should I stay the same?

But in the end,
it wouldn't even make a difference.
They will still judge you,
Whether you pretend,
Or
You show the truth.
Continue reading...
at No comments: quickedit

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Cruelty

May 24, 2015 0 Comments






How to conceal the wounds from the society? 

-Being a bisexual is not a disease. It's our choice, it is US.

Smile. Just Smile. Don't give a fck. Being a Bisexual one is like having a disease. Yung tipong nakakahawa. Yung halos pandirihan ka na. Ang hilig nila manghusga. Di ka pa nila nakilala personally, ang dami na nila sasabihin sayo na hindi maganda. Kelan kaya kami matatanggap sa society na ito? Until when we are going to pretend like there's nothing wrong, like there's no pain? Unti when we are going to seek for people's acceptance? Lahat tayo pantay-pantay, God made us equal. Pero yun nga yun eh, wala daw nilikha ang Diyos na kagaya namen. Babae at Lalaki lang daw. Pero hindi naman sila si God para husgahan kami. 

We Bisexuals, Lesbians, Gays, and Transgendered are also human like others, we don't deserve this kind of treatment from this judgmental world, from this unfair world. Ang daming kagaya namen ang nagtatago nalang kasi takot sila sa sasabihin ng iba. They can't face it. Kasi hnstly, masakit talaga. Mahirap talaga. Ang dami nga na halos magpakamatay nalang dahil sa panghuhusga ng mga taong wala naman kaalam-alam sa sitwasyon namen. 

Again, just smile. Just let the society wonder why we are so strong to face them, to show them who we really are. Just show them that whatever judgement they throw upon us, we can still stand and show them what we really got. 👍🏼 
Continue reading...
at No comments: quickedit

Monday, March 2, 2015

Faith in times of Failure

March 02, 2015 0 Comments
-Keeping the faith in times of failure

When we fail we need to be strong, we need to fight, we need to believe in ourselves. We should not let failure let us down. God gives us blessings and also failures. It will never be a continuous blessing, it always comes up with ups then down because, if we just continue receiving blessings, we won’t be able to learn and stand on our own. We will always depend on what God will give us without trying or doing something for ourselves. And in life, when we try or when we do things we always start by failing and trying and vice versa until we get what we want, and perhaps, the best. But sometimes, those failures makes us doubt in God’s existence. Right? Why does failure stick in our minds so much longer than our success? Failures has a big impact on each and everyone of us. But guess what, greatest failures can be the greatest gift we can receive from God. Why? Because these failures are lessons that we can use and keep for the rest of our lives. And we could get best experience from failures. But in times of failure, do you still have your faith with you?

 I have some questions to ask.

The 1st question would be, Is God still God in bad times like He was in good times?  If you would ask me,  my answer would be Yes, He is still God whenever I’m down or whenever I fail. Because I know that God would help me, and God will never let me down. I would share my experience I think 3 years ago. I got influenced by my friends, I got 3 violations in our school. I feel so down,my parents got disappointed, I got failing grades, I even lost being in the top10 because of what I’ve done. Butt still I look up into Him the way I believe in Him during when I thought it was the best days of my life. .  what about you? Is He still God whenever your girlfriend or boyfriend broke up with you? When your parents argue or got separated? Or whenever someone you love passed away? IS HE STILL THE SAME GOD YOU LOOK UP TO?

The 2nd Question:
Do you believe that everything that is happening is based on God’s plan and it has reasons?   For me, It’s a Yes again. Everything happens for a reason right? God gave us ups and downs in life for us to be able to learn and to know what we should do. What we should’ve done. God won’t give us obstacles that we cannot pass. It’s just about being brave and having strength in life so you could move on and go on with your life though you fail many times. Failure shouldn’t make you weak, it should  make you stronger. You should think that God gave you this problem because it would help you someday, it would give you lessons that you could use in future for you to be able to succeed and avoid failures again.


3rd Question:
Does Failure lessen your faith in God?
I have a friend who is afraid to believe in God again. He has gone through a lot. He was once a servant of God, a co-choir member of mine. But when his grandfather and mother died, it changed everything in him. He won’t go with us anymre, he doesn’t go to church, or either listen to mass He even quit in serving the Lord. I asked him why, he snwered me “It’s because he has given too much pain and I don’t know why, why me? Why both of the person I love the most?” I told Him, “there is a reason why. Maybe what happened could help you someday”. He told me he still cant face Him, he’s afraid that God might reject Him. Got might ignore Him and I told Him “Just come  backanytime, God will still accept you, embrace you whole-heartedly. He will never reject anyone of us.”


4th”
Do you still believe that He exist when you feel down?
Most of you would answer No. Because, It’s the most FAQ when someone fails.  Does he really exist? Does he would help me? Why is he doing this? Why is he not helping me? IT’sjust because God gave us problem that we should solve by ourselves. He’s just there to help and guide us. To hold our hands and give us courage to fight and to stand whenever we fall. But God do really exist. It doesn’t mean that we gone through a lot, He’s mad or He’s giving us punishment in life. It’s just that He’s trying if we really do have faith in Him. He exist. How did I say so? Because after failures, theres a success and that is God’s gift to us. Or should I say, that is God with us. Like what a bible verse is saying “So Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold your hand w/ my righteous right hand.” A verse that would let you think and realize that Got is really with me in good or even in bad times. He’s just around, watching and guarding us from the demons who is trying to get us from Him. Keep your faith in God, God has plans. God has reasons, God has His own way of taking care of his children of his nations, of his family. God never fails. Though we do, God will lead us to the right path where we could use our lessons we learned from our failures and our mistakes. Believe in Him because He is Almighty Father.
                                                                                                                        



Continue reading...
at No comments: quickedit

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

This should be...

November 18, 2014 0 Comments
Days, Weeks, Months, and Years passed. Everything begun to be different, everything went wrong. 
Distance destroy the faith, distance destroy the loyalty. Distance destroyed everything.
I thought it will last forever, I thought that this won't stop and we'll fight till the end.
But I was wrong.
Your Loyalty,
Your Love,
The Trust, 
The Hope,
Your Promises,
Our Dreams,
They were all GONE.
They all faded away. 
This time, the only thing I can do is to accept what had happened to you, me, and US. 
You Changed,
I changed,
The relationship went out wrong. All of it was wrong.
I realized that love is not the only thing that really matters, but the loyalty, words, actions, and acceptance matters the most. I love you, I will always will. But this time I have to fix myself, I need to be me again. 
This imperfect love changed me, this non-lasting relationship broke me, your love shattered me, your promises destroyed me, your false hopes killed me. 
We let go, we surrender, we ended up what we started.
You told me that after this you might come back to me whenever you see the old me again, 
You told me that no one can replace me,
You told me that you won't love anyone more than you love me,
I want to believe, I still want to hold on, I still want to hope, 
But I want to be happy, maybe someday we can fix this again. But it will only happen, if you will never let your heart fall more in love with her. It will only happen, if you let your heart choose me and love me again more than you love her. 

But for now, I 'll fix myself on my own. I'll find my happiness alone.
And this should be,
Done. 
Continue reading...
at No comments: quickedit

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Living my own world

March 18, 2014 0 Comments




  All this time I’m just pretending. Pretending to be happy, not hurt. That’s all I can do to show them that I’m not affected. But they do not even notice all those tears I shed, those tears I cried. All they can see is a SMILE, a Smile that’s full of Sadness, Miseries, Pain, Tears kept inside. I wouldn’t let anyone see those secrets kept inside my smile, I didn’t even let them know what I do really feel. I don’t want anybody accompany me through all those pains I’ve felt. I kept all inside me, until now, they’re all kept and still hurting me. I want to remove all of them, I want to throw it all away. But as times passes by, it’s getting strong and hurts me so much. The more I want to throw them the more they stay, the more they gets plenty. I keep on asking myself, WHY AM I LIKE THIS? WHY DO I FELT THOSE PAINS? WHY DID I CRIED A LOT OF TEARS? CAN SOMEONE MAKE ME HAPPY FOR A LONG TIME? CAN SOMEONE LOVE ME, THE WAY I LOVED THEM? those questions keeps on hurting me, keeps in killing me, all I want is a person who can erase those pain & wounds in my heart, but I wouldn’t let anybody to do that for me. WHY? It’s because of DOUBT. It always bothers me. I’m afraid that one day that person who made me feel special would LEFT me & LEAVE me all ALONE.

 That’s my greatest fear ever, to lose the person I love. The reason why I kept those pain & wounds inside my heart, I know that NO ONE can throw them away, I know that NO ONE will stay with me FOREVER. I’m always afraid to LOVE, afraid to be HURT all over again. But I can’t do anything, I lived like this, I grew up in this world, It’s me, a PART of the PRETENDER’S WORLD.
SOURCE: mariamanibel.tumblr.com
Continue reading...
at No comments: quickedit

Follow Us @soratemplates